Diving into Europe
Moving to Europe to pursue a career in opera has been a dream of mine for years. I have dual citizenship with Hungary and as a result I am able to live and work in the EU without limitations. So, when I received generous funding to attend AIMS in Graz I knew it was time to make the leap, and I had a phenomenal experience at the program. It’s extremely well-rounded and it is dedicated to sharpening and refining all the vital skills for operatic performance. Artists get daily German language courses, and every day someone is working directly with you, on your personal development, be it diction, voice lessons, acting, or stage presence. I got to work three time a week with an incredible teacher, Stephanie Weiss, a fabulous coach, John Kolody, and I was lucky to perform with the orchestra several times throughout the summer and thus was given the invaluable opportunity to collaborate intimately with many professional European conductors. Essentially, in order to get the most out of a program like AIMS you need to show up, be prepared with what you what you’re ready to improve, and practice, practice, practice.
And then I moved to Leipzig, Germany to work as an aupair for the amazing, Meagan Miller. Studying briefly with her, seeing her perform Isolde at Oper Leipzig, having so much access to seeing performances there, getting to know people at the opera house, and seeing what the world looks like backstage a European opera house has been a huge learning opportunity. And all I did was be available to work for her and I was here already in Europe.
So, here I am now with a beautiful partially furnished apartment in Leipzig. I found a wonderful permanent teacher in Berlin and I am slowly building my network with coaches. I have done some auditions, sent many applications for singing opportunities, received tons of rejections, mistakenly taken a job in gastronomy (it is NOT flexible like in the US), and my German is nearing fluency at this point. This career continues to remind me that anything fantastic is simply worth the wait. Sometimes being an artist feels like being stuck in a black hole of abysmal waiting, and it’s tempting to look back and wonder if, for instance, making the crazy choice to jump headfirst into a new continent was misguided, but in the life of a young artist, uncertainty, doubt, excitement, and profound beauty pulse through the same vein with every breath. There are instances where everything and nothing at all seems to fall into place, and within moments of absolute disillusion and worry, opportunities for growth become abundant. Moving to Europe, specifically to Leipzig, Germany, has been sensational. It has come with more ups and downs I have ever experienced in my life. Most of the emotional challenges I’m working through at the moment stem from how the business of the opera world indulges in exploiting and setting unfair expectations for young artists. Slowly, after many disappointing and frustrating moments, however, I am realizing that the whole reason I came to Europe in the first place wasn’t to have my life, apartment, and performance career organized within the first two months. I came to become fluent in a new language, to relish in the challenges that come with German bureaucracy and thrive in it all by just doing it on my own… auf Deutsch. I came to experience new cultures, eat, meet new people, and learn, learn, learn about history, art, cultural nuances only experience can teach, and most importantly I came to learn about myself, my limits, my breaking points, and my strengths. Being uncomfortable, things not working out the way “they’re supposed to,” and being completely overwhelmed sometimes are part of the process, and I’m grateful for having experienced every bit of it. Sure, singing justified my buying an expensive plane ticket and it’s part of my daily life here, but my biggest impetus for making the leap was to live bravely and continue advancing towards unbridaled happiness. Now all I need to do is remember this in every moment, especially the hard ones. Wish me luck.
Actively,
I’ve been working little by litte to set myself free with constant reminders of patience and remembering that waiting doesn’t need to be a suspenseful experience.